What hurts the most
by blazingeyes
Summary: I'm not afraid to cry, every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days, every now and again I pretend I'm okay, but that's not what gets me...Tazusa X Pete.Song fic. ONESHOT


**Me: My first ginban kaleidoscope fic! It's a song fic with the song 'What hurts the most' by cascada. I made this fic based on a video I posted in youtube with the slow version of this song. You can find the link to the vid in my profile. So please check it out and tell me if you like it. By the way the fic is in Tazusa's POV. Also, you have to imagine that the song is playing in the backround. Enjoy! **

I sighed and blearily opened my eyes.

I couldn't sleep…well, I'd had worse nights.

I sat up and walked over to the window and sat down in a chair next to it. It was raining.

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house**_

_**That don't bother me**_

I thought of Pete and how I hadn't been able to tell him…

I couldn't help it, every time I thought of him, I started crying.

_**I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry  
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me**_

I quickly wiped my face and decided to go down for breakfast.

_**  
There are days  
Every now and again I pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me  
**_

'Morning Tazusa!' Yoko smiled. I smiled too, not because I was feeling particularly happy, but because of her innocence.

I guess they were right when they said 'Ignorance is bliss'.

Even now, I still stopped eating tomatoes. They reminded me too much of…him.

_**  
What hurts the most, was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watchin you walk away  
Never knowing, what could have been  
And not seein that lovin you  
Is what I was tryin to do**_

I stared at my plate and tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly stood up and announced, 'I'm going out for a walk!' and rushed out of the door.

_****_

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin it

I saw Mika walking towards me and quickly hid behind a bush; I was in no mood to speak to anyone right now.

_**  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone**_

Every morning when I got up, I waited to hear Pete's friendly voice…but I was sadly disappointed. Out of some old habit, I still dressed blind folded. It was as though, he was still there…

_**  
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over**_

If only I had told him…but maybe, just maybe, it was better this way. It would have made him sad. And he told me, the last thing he wanted to see was my smile.

_**  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart **_

_**That I left unspoken…**_

I heard a familiar whirring noise and looked up and saw… a plane. Pete always said that his last flight was his best one. It's so weird but, all that seemed like it happened so long ago. Hundred days is a very short time…

_**  
What hurts the most, is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watchin you walk away  
Never knowing, what could have been  
And not seein that lovin you  
Is what I was tryin to do**_

But, no matter what, Pete was always there for me. He always cared for me. Oh Pete. What I wouldn't give to just go back in time, and tell you that…I love you.

There, I'm crying again. I have to be strong, for Pete. He wouldn't have wanted this. I have to move on. I will move on! But It's gonna be hard. It hurts so much…

_****_

What hurts the most, was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watchin you walk away  
And never knowing, what could have been  
And not seein that lovin you  
Is what I was tryin to do

I smiled a little when I saw that the rain had stopped. I closed my umbrella and looked up. There was a rainbow in the sky.

Maybe Pete's seeing this too, I thought.

But I know one thing for sure; we'll meet again, someday.

'You may not be here, but you'll always be in my heart…Pete.' I whispered.

Somehow, I think he heard me…

**Me: Hope it wasn't too fluffy! Please review if you liked it! **


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